Every journey starts with one step...

O.k.

First step: check transcript 1 for accuracy.

I'll check back in.

Thanks be to god that no-one reads this...

because that way no-one can point out that it has been almost half a year since I've last posted.

O.k., time to refocus.

I'm looking for feedback on my survey from one last reviewer (who I am using as a surrogate committee member as the committee member who I have been relying on is MIA on sabbatical, not that I hold it against him, as I certainly have not given him any indication that I am in any sort of a rush).

Once that feedback is received and incorporated this weekend, my survey will be mailed out Monday morning. (brief interlude to see if I can find anything in google about the best time of day/week to send out an email survey. I wonder if Monday morning is actually not a great time - maybe monday afternoon would be better).

O.k, so what I need to do now is switch gears and get back to the analysis of my first study, which, as you may or may not know, I last looked at in early summer. This is the first time I've done qualitative analysis, and I know I'm going to use Thematic Analysis, and in fact am working backward a bit given that I've already done one run-through to identify themes I used to develop my survey. Talk about not rigorous. Aie.

I have 4 articles on Thematic analysis sitting in front of me. So my next task should be to read these articles and make notes on the relevant content.

Then I should review Model Thesis to see how Model Researcher discussed her qualitative data.

Based on these two reviews, I should have a framework with which to structure my own analysis. And that means opening up NVivo and reacquainting myself with my data.

Listen/read to each of my interviews and begin coding on my themes, and coding anything else interesting along the way.

O.k., so I'll post again when I've read the 4 articles.
tick tock....

What wonderful comments my surrogate committee member had for me - I really have the sense that she paid attention, which I've been desparate for, I must admit. And it was kind of her to praise my survey given she has no sense of whether the items actually make any conceptual sense. So, changes are made, and I'm ready to go on Monday afternoon.

I've also found the articles very helpful - I have 3 new tables on my wall, explicating the cognitive processes inherent in qualitative analysis, a step-by-step description of the process of thematic analysis, and a 15 point checklist of criteria for good thematic analysis. I feel much more ready and in control, realising that I've already touched on some of the steps, and I'm looking forward to diving back into my interviews and formalizing my review process. This will start on Sunday, as tomorrow is full of dr.'s appointments, visits to the laundramat, and grocery shopping for a dinner party. But I will re-read this and earlier posts to capture the feeling of 'quasi-flow' (yes, I made the word up, so sue me).

Must ... stay .... focussed ...

I'm not stopping here. I'm hopped up on caffeine and desperation, and I am not stopping here. This is a 'c'mon' post (new tennis term I learned from Wiki).

I will now focus in on political skills. I will:

• read over what I have read
• contextualize the quotes
• read over scale article
• add in a bit more information to flesh out what p.s. are
  

Yikes!

Why, o why am I paralysed with anxiety here? My list was so concrete, so sure. It had hope written all over it. And now, here I sit, having changed 2 of the measures in my survey (despite the fact that I spent a long time picking the first ones out, and no doubt had good reason for my choices, except that I no longer remember the reasons because I picked them so damn long ago!!!). And I have no idea where I got the content for a couple of the sections of my survey, and I can't find some of my original references, and I have spent the last few hours fruitlessly searching through my files and bookmarks to see if I can retrace my steps. Ah, I see why I am feeling sick to my stomach with anxiety. It all makes sense now. But making sense and getting past it are not the same thing.

And, to top it all off, even though I am booking weeks in advance, the restaurant Mr. There Yet would like to celebrate his birthday at is fully booked, and now the plans will have to be more circuitous and complicated. I'm stealing someone else's expletive and saying 'Gah'!

O.k., new plan of action. (I notice how often I say 'o.k.' when I'm trying to make myself feel like life is more under control). I will make a quick phone call and then I will take all my notes from my interviews and go to a coffee shop and make notes on the notes and then come back and try again.

I will be back.

Plan for today

O.k., today is the day that I create a brief rationale for the survey. I'm going to break it down and use this as a checklist.

- review notes from recordings and identify main themes
- pull quotes from interviews that support themes
- expand discussion to put quotes into context
- pull 3 supporting articles for each existing scale
- connect existing scales to themes
- describe item generation process for made-up scales, and connect to themes

This seems reasonable. I can do this. I'm giving myself 2 hours to review notes, and pull themes and quotes. Right after I eat my breakfast.

O.k., easy does it now...

if I just sneak up on my survey, really carefully so that I don't scare it away, I should be able to finish it tonight.

O.k., so I've only marked one

But it required a lot of feedback, and it's after midnight, and I'm tired, and marking graduate papers requires much more focus than marking undergraduate work, and I would not be doing anyone a favour by trying to mark one more...zzzzzzzzz